Stalactites? Probably not...

I have heard so much about Stalactites Greek restaurant over the last 6 years I have lived in Melbourne, that it was almost certainly not going to live up to its "quality cuisine" tag. Last night, J had a colleague visiting Melbourne who he had offered to take out to dinner. Said guest had a hankering for some quality Greek cuisine, so where else would we head, but to Stalactites, another Melbourne 'institution'.

For a short time in my younger days I was blessed with a pair of wonderful Greek step-grandparents, both of whom could cook up a storm (mainly the grandmother, although the granfather brewed a wicked Ouzo and marinated some truly heavenly olives). I digress. This only means that unfortunately for me I know what good Greek food tastes like.

I won't go as far as to say that I did not find any at Stalactites, but I can say that every plate we ordered was in some way carcinogenic. Between the three of us we ordered the Spanakopita and Calamari for Appetizer and a Meat Platter (to share) with one serve of Mousakka for mains. The Spanakopita was a 'roll', not cooked as I understand the traditional way - in a baking tray - it was dry, lets leave it at that. The Calmiari was OK, deep fried and with a large douse of lemon juice, nice. The Meat Platter was mainly burnt, big, but burnt. The Mousakka (which I was most looking forward to) was not only burnt, but cool and served with THE soggiest excuse for vegetables and barely boiled white rice - not good.

Sorry Stalactites, next time a visitor or friend asks for a recommendation on quality Greek cuisine I'll be sending them elsewhere... unless they are in the market for a 4am Souvlaki at which you do excel.